September 13, 2010

• True Freedom

   

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  “Want to know how a daughter should be treated? A little girl should feel safe. She should feel that her mind, body and heart are all tucked in at night, with the door cracked just a little so it is not quite so dark, with the low murmur of voices trickling in from the living room telling her that mommy and daddy are still there.

     A little girl should feel wanted. She should make her parents smile, just because she walks upon the earth, and make their hearts glad- not because of what she does, but because of who she is. A little girl should have her needs met; she should thrive, and not be required to learn survival and fear as a constant way of life. A little girl should be encouraged, not broken. She should hunger for nothing… for bread, shoes or love. A little girl should be given room to breathe, not smothered by the old way. Not bound upon the old way. Not stifled, strangled, cast out into the open field.”  

  ~ Hillary McFarland  ”Quivering Daughters”

   

  Friday afternoon, I took the kids up the road so I could get some practice in before a photo shoot I’ll be doing this coming weekend. The kids were informed to dress nicely, if they’d like, if not that’s o.k. too, but these pictures were not going to be deleted. The girls put some make up on and the boys came as they were. Siobhan asked Amanda if she would put some eye make up on her as well. She wanted to look like “a famous person too”.  I guess only famous people wear eye liner (?)  

   

            

   

  Lately, I’ve been thinking about freedom. The type of freedom only Christ can provide. It’s a subject that seems to perpetually resurface in my life. The above quote is from an excellent book I’ve been reading lately. It’s a book I’d like my older sons and daughters to read. And my younger ones at some point. The quote, and the book, can apply to both little boys and little girls. It can serve as therapy for those who have suffered abuse, but it can also serve as a warning to those who haven’t. In my case, I was raised by wonderful parents and had a loving family, but I can see the type of abuse the book talks about all around me. I see various people and groups trying to exert this type of influence and control over other individuals. It isn’t just relegated to the Christian community, but unfortunately Christian’s, especially those in positions of authority, can call out a “bigger stick” than your average angry autonomist. 

  At times, I feel like I’m caught between two world views. There’s the illogical, fluctuating and transient world view of the secularist where everything is determined by the individual and then ascribed to the collective moral conscience of “the community”; and then there is the “Christian” world view which is often hijacked by the loudest most forceful voices.  This is not to say the secularists can’t be loud and forceful. They can be all that in SPADES and derisive too, thank you very much!!  But they do all that without an overarching divinity.  

  Quite frankly, Secularists can come off like a child having a temper tantrum and so are much more easily dismissed.  They can only threaten their own disapproval and perhaps those who are like minded.  In the end, that’s not terribly alarming. 

   

          

   

   

  Christians and non christians have a way of distorting the TRUE meaning of freedom. Atheists and humanists believe that embracing complete autonomy is the only way to be truly liberated. Many Christians would readily admit that salvation is a free gift of God; but then…….

   

   

  Too often the simplicity of the Gospel is contorted by adding man made rules and regulations as a way of determining whether or not a person is genuinely saved.  I can’t tell you how many sermons/lessons/lectures I’ve sat through that list 10.. 20… 30  ”ways” to know you’re truly saved. By the end of the sermon (usually designed to get a certain point, or more accurately, standard(s) across) you wonder if ANYone could EVER hope to be redeemed and at peace with God.  To be sure, Philippians exhorts us to “work out” our salvation with fear and trembling. But I don’t remember a detailed list of what we should eat; what we should wear; what parenting method to use; what music we should listen to; how weshould evangelize; or what denomination we should be affiliated with and on and on and on……. 

   

  These are areas where true freedom lies …. areas where those who have a controlling spirit want to exercise authority over others.

  An authority that they don’t have. On the surface, they may think they’re following God’s ways, but more often than not, they’re just creating bondage in individuals and division in the body of Christ. Unfortunately, there are those who may not be so benevolent in their motives.  

   

  I see this far too often in the world I belong to.

  Honestly, it can be discouraging; embarrassing and annoying but ultimately I have to resign myself to being a very integral part of the body of Christ. It isn’t as though I’m just shaking my head as I look at the church. I’m all too familiar with the short comings I see.  There is a long list of wrong thoughts, motives and actions that I deal with from MYself on a daily basis. Control may not be one of them (at the moment) but there are plenty of others. At any rate, I love my brothers and sisters in Christ. I’m very much like them.

   

  Flawed and forgiven.

   

   

              

  But when I think about my faith, I don’t think about my own flaws or the flaws of others. I think about Jesus Christ and how HE behaved; What HE said; who HE loved. He is my compass; He is my plumb line. 

  He provides my guidance and direction not the “Christian” world and certainly not the secular world.

  He is my Rock for stability. He is my comfort and my resting place. 

  As Christians, we can not be robbed of who He is.

  All authority ends with Him….. this is the case regardless of who is or isn’t happy with it.    :D

   

       

   

  One of the points in the book that is continually made is that we should be free to BE who God made us to be. Some young ladies are creative some of us are less so but their are talents and skills that no one should repress. If they are not sin (as the scriptures define sin) they should be encouraged. A child’s heart; their likes and dislikes should be regarded. 

   

  When my youngest was just a little thing, she began calling my husband and me what she thought our “collective” name was. She knew we were Mommy and Daddy, but in addition, she homogenized our first two names and we became “Jeff Ann”.  This name was interchangeable. When she called out “Jeff Ann”, we knew she meant either, and, or both. It wasn’t meant to be disrespectful. It was said with affection and we did not discourage her in the least; though we were warned it wasn’t a “wise” thing to allow. We never defined it as “disrespectful”, so she never embraced it that way. Btw, she stopped calling us that… and I do miss it. 

   

  As Siobhan grew older, she developed a fascination with Spiderman. I don’t mean a mild interest. I mean 95% of her wardrobe had that worldly Super Hero emblazoned on it. There was some disapproval that we felt over her obsession (and it was an obsession) but we knew that she desired to imitate Spidey not out of a desire to be masculine but because he represented bravery, courage and a sense of adventure.  Can girls not appreciate those qualities and desire to imitate them? I think we can!!  She still loves him but that love has dwindled a bit.  She likes to play princess and she likes to play warrior. We’ve never defined her play for her or set “standards’ for what is feminine or what is masculine. It’s never about that to her it’s about adventure.

   

   

  

  She cracks me up!! Siobhan wanted to do “crazy running” the other day. She kept saying, “Let’s do this thing” and then she would run screaming 

  “YOU BETRAYEDED ME!!!”  Some unseen but glorious battle was taking place.

  

   

    

                  

  Amanda is very quiet. I have a couple of quiet kids. Manda is the quietest. I try and draw her out at times, and we’ll talk but she’s happy not being the one doing the talking. 

  She is who she is and I love the way God made her. 

   

               

  I was very surprised that Jennie and Samantha seemed agreeable to having their pictures taken. Normally when I point my camera in their direction they throw their hands up in protest.

  I gave them some warning this time so they could prepare. But the next day, I was adjusting the settings on my camera and I pointed my camera in Jennie’s direction to test it and she threw her hands up in front of her face….. oh well.

  Things will probably be different once they get their braces off.  They can’t wait!!

   

              

   

  Ben is hilarious. I could take 100 consecutive pictures of this boy and 99 of them would look like this.

  

   

  He isn’t a hyper kid at all and you would never notice how much he moves his face. Unless you took his picture. 

  He has allergies so I think that’s why he’s twitchy.

  Every once in a while I’ll get him to hold still. everything still… but I have to be quick.

   

  

   

  This is what he looks like normally. ⬆  When you don’t try to freeze frame his face. 

   

          

   Ian wants to be a lawyer when he grows up. He told us that several years ago.

  I suppose I can encourage that…  

   

                          

   

         

   

        

   

               

   

  More thoughts and pictures to come….  soon  :)

   

   

   

   

  • 7:52 am
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