I was revisiting this old blog after watching “Elf” with the kids this evening. The first time I saw that movie I was stuck in a hospital bed. Still…… I laughed so hard at the time the kids were too worried to really enjoy the movie. Seeing the pictures I posted from the time was kind of shocking. I look like death warmed over. Very “Twilight vampire baby”…….. Sure was happy to watch “Elf” (nearly 7 years later) with that wonderful little trouble maker.

4 years ago today Siobhan Noel Berry “Finally” came into our lives. She was born 6 weeks early. And we were very thankful she was able to make it that long. She weighed 4 lbs. 15 1/2 oz. ~ small….. but not my smallest.

Jeff and I have always called her the cherry-on-Top of our Huge Colossal Sundae. She is just the perfect finishing touch to the yummy master piece of wonderful blessings *each of the children* God has allowed us to raise, nurture, and enjoy ~~~

Cherry-on-Top.

My pregnancy with Siobhan was very difficult both before and after delivery. The Lord really used that time in my life to grow me. When I look back, I do see the happy moments during that time. But when I was in the midst of those trials, I rarely saw the intended benefit. I just wanted out. I knew with my head that God was working His purposes in my life and faith prompted me to pray and to trust. Yet, during the storm I felt like I was just clinging for dear life to His character and who He IS.

……. No one ever feels like a spiritual giant when they’re just holding on for dear life.

Around my 26th week, I began to have some bloody discharge…. not terribly much but enough to warrant a visit to my OB-GYN. After examining me, my doctor decided to send me to Wake Forrest Medical Center where they have a Maternal/Fetal unit. We were living in the mountains of N.C. ,at the time, and Wake Forrest was an hour and a half away.

In the ambulance, I went for that long ride to what would become my home away from home and the beginning of my adventure with # 13.

After examinations & ultrasounds, they discovered that I had placenta privia, as well as a complicating issue with scar tissue build up that was causing Shivy’s placenta to pull away from the wall of the uterus and bleed. They told me I needed to stay there in that hospital on total bed rest until she was born. I couldn’t believe it!!!

This was devastating news. You’d have to know me, but I’ve always joked that the biggest reason I home-school is because I would miss my kids terribly if they were gone for 8 hours a day….. Back then, going to the grocery store by myself made me completely homesick for my kids.

After one week there, I began a tearful plea (shameless begging) to be allowed to return. In my mind, the isolated episode wasn’t that big of a deal and it was probably due to a lot of Holiday preparations and rushing around. I cried to my doctor until she reluctantly relented. And with many cautions and phone calls to my regular doctor ,as well as, promises on my part to be a good girl; back home I went. ~~~What a feeling of freedom I had that day….. and what a joyous reunion we had back at home~~~

So everything went along well for awhile. One night when Jeff was doing an evening shift and Jay was out bowling with friends, I decided to go to bed a little early. The older kids were playing some games in the den when I felt a sudden gush of blood. I looked down to see bright red blood all over the sheets. This time it wasn’t stopping.

My adrenaline kicked in as I began to realize that all our drivers were gone; it was snowing outside; and we were 30 minutes from the nearest hospital. !!!! Ohhh, I began to pray like crazy!!!!!. I tried shouting to the kids in the other room, not wanting to get up because of the awful unsettling feeling of the blood rushing out of my body. Eventually they heard and complete pandemonium ensued.

Deborah called 911 and told them, as best she could in her panicked state, what the situation was. My memory of that time is somewhat fuzzy probably because of the adrenaline but I do remember calling Jeff at the ER. The conversation went something like this:

Nurse: “WRMC Hospital may I help you? “

Me: “DR. BERRY, DR.BERRY, DR.BERRY !!!!!!”

Nurse hands phone to Jeff in record time…. Seriously, like 1 second

Jeff: “Beth Ann, What’s going on?”

Me: “I’M BLEEDING, I’M BLEEDING, I’M BLEEDING I CAN’T TALK NOW”

I hang up the phone.

My fleshly pride would very much like to tell you how well I do in emergent situations…… but Proverbs 19:5 & Rev 21:8 forbid me. ~ I was incredibly *uncalm * uncool * and uncollected.

Once again, I took the 1.5 hour ambulance drive back to Alcatraz …. I mean to Wake Forrest.

This time the scare was so bad that I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking to go back home to the mountains. Though I was completely miserable being away from my family and JUST before the Christmas holidays.

A couple weeks before we had been reading some books as a family by Jeremiah Denton and Jim Mulligan about their time at the Hanoi Hilton during the Viet Nam War. My mind set at the time was, “If they could do it under those circumstances then I can make it to the end….. just 12 more weeks in this place”. ~ It seems like such a completely ridiculous state of mind now. But that’s exactly how I psyched myself up for the stay in that tiny little room.

Celebrating Christmas in the hospital room w/ Jeff and the kids. I was very pale and lost weight during my stay there.

:: The good times ::

~ Sleep overs with the children in my little room.

~ Special date nights with Jeff when he’d come over after work and pick up dinner from a local place. We’d eat, watch 24 on DVDs and He’d spend the night in cot next to my bed.

~ So much Bible study time. Just me and God.

~ Reading 2 volumes on the life of George Whitefield. Amazing Man.

~We have’nt done much TV watching as a family, but I did indulge in Oprah (and occasionally Dr. Phil) during my stay. And really enjoyed it!

~Never had another bleed while I was there in the hospital.

~ Visiting with those nice nurses. they were a blessing.

~My son ,Jay, who would drive everyone back and forth every other day. What a faithful son and a great big brother to do that for us. He helped keep us together.

:: The Bad times ::

~Having to have an 16 gauge needle in my arm at all times and having it rotated every 3 days. I have so many scars on my arm. I look like an I.V. drug user.

~Not being able to leave the hospital. I wasn’t suppose to be out of bed but I convinced my doctor to let me roam the hospital in a wheel chair once a day. “Exercise”

~Being alone. A lot.

~Having hospital food begin to look appetizing to me. :/

~The moments of wondering why this was happening and if it was because my love for my kids was an idol to me.

~Saying “Goodbye” to the kids after a visit. That was really hard.

After 7 weeks without incidence, my doctor decided to release me! We scheduled a C-section at that hospital for Feb. 11th and left. We enjoyed our time together again, but I never made it to the 11th.

On January 27th, I was talking on the phone with a friend from church when I felt that familiar gush. I quickly hung up and told one of the kids to get Jeff. This time I didn’t panic because Jeff was there and Siobhan was farther along. In the past, when they did an analysis of the blood. It was always my blood being lost which meant the tear was on “my side” of the placenta. This is good. Babies can’t afford to lose blood volume.

Jeff drove me to the hospital half an hour away. While there, I began to contract and bleed more. My doctor did not want to deliver me there because she was worried about my having a placenta accreta and having to do an emergent hysterectomy with very little in the blood bank. I did not think I’d make the long trip to Wake Forrest.

I went anyway.

In the ambulance on the way there, the whole crew was praying with me. It was an old transport and had a hard time going fast but at one point I told the nurse I was bleeding badly. I could feel it. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she peeked under my blanket. ~ She told them to move it!! NOW. And they did….. with lights and sirens.

It was at that point I prayed a prayer of complete surrender. No more kicking and crying and complaining about my circumstances. No more fretful worries about “What if” scenarios. Right then, I said, “Lord, I’m yours and so is this baby. If you want to take us home, well, that’s just fine with me.” From that point on, I didn’t care how fast we were going or when we’d get there. ~God gave me a peace.

We call this her Paparazzi shot. ~ “Please, Dahhling’ no pictures”

Under the table at dinner the other evening.

Goofing off with Erin

There is more…

I did get post partum pre-eclampsia that went undetected while I was at the hospital. Every time they came to take my pressure, I was at the NICU.
So they discharged me not knowing. After a week of discomfort and swelling w/pitting edema, Jeff took my pressure. 160/140……. Crazy.

But, we’re fine now.

And that’s the end of my “Blah blah blah” post/story about little Shivy Noel. ~Time to go get ready for a Birthday party…. for my little miracle.

  I don’t know who started this but I’m really glad they did.  It’s been a genuine pleasure learning more about you guys and gals. What a diverse bunch of folks we have on here!! 

Anyway, My dear friend Quantum Storm tagged me in his “7″ post and since he hasn’t given me permission to copy and paste his entry, I’ll have to fabricate* my own here:

1) My paternal grandparents emigrated from Swansea, Wales. My grandfather had worked in the coal mines since the time he was 9 years old. He came to the U.S. without his family at first and continued to work in the coal mines of Pa. until he earned enough money to bring his wife and 4 children over to the states to be with him (several years later). 

My father was the first of his children born in America; the 5th child of 7 and 11 years younger than his closest sibling. My grandfather eventually saved enough money to start a grocery store in their small town of Clarks Summit, Pa. Their oldest child still lives there today. She’s 98 years old. 

My dad was the first in his family to go to college. At the time, he and my Mom were working opposite shifts trading off daycare duties while he earned his degree at night school.

They lived in a house they bought for $10,000 until I was born. My dad talked about eating baked bean sandwiches for lunch because that’s all they could afford…. Yuck!

2) I don’t like telling people IRL that I have 13 kids. You’d be amazed how often this question comes up in casual conversation (especially when you don’t want it to). Over the years, there have been all manner of reactions to the size of our family:  The curled lip look of disgust; The genuinely surprised (and pleasantly so) look; The *up and down* once over to make sure all my body parts are where they ought to be…. look.  :)

After a while, telling people becomes a hassle. Especially when people ask WHY you “did it”. If you’ve ever broken your arm you know what I mean…… complete strangers are constantly asking how you did it. Only they also ask me WHY I did it and sometimes how… or more accurately, if I “figured out” how it happened. People usually say, “You ought to have your own reality show?”  I tell them we’d be canceled after the first episode our family life is so wonderfully boring.

 A couple of weeks ago I was in my doctor’s office. She had a P.A. student following her that day so we chit chatted about Med. school versus P.A. school. I mentioned my kids Jay, Erin and Sarah were on the MD track but had seriously considered P.A. school as an option…. yada yada yada. She asked me while checking my pulse, “so you have 3 kids?”  I hesitated before I answered. I didn’t want to lie, but I really didn’t want to get into it either. I decided to say “Yes, I have 3 kids who are Med school/ Pre-Med students.”  It sounded kind of stilted the way it came out. I’m a horrible liar. 

Not 30 seconds later the doctor happily whisked into the room and says to the PA, “Did you know this young woman has 13 children?! And she gave birth to all of them???!l…”     

The PA said…. “Ahhh, I thought your answer sounded hesitant.”     Yeah….. it did. 

3) I couldn’t care less about fashion. Never had a manicure, pedicure or Spa treatment. 9 times out of 10 I cut my own hair (and have my daughter fix what I messed up) I own one pair of high heel shoes and about 4 dresses. I hate clothes shopping for myself and only do it when it needs to be done. 

4)  I’ve been home schooling since my oldest was 5. I’m not the greatest teacher in the world. It’s not something that I love to do. But I do love being with my kids throughout the day and take every opportunity to tell them so. My love language is physical affection so I constantly hug & kiss them and try to remember to verbally affirm them too. Jeff and I expect a lot out of them academically but we balance it out with fun. 

5)  I love to read non-fiction especially books on history, theology and politics. Very rarely do I read fiction. There’s this little voice in my head that says to me when I’m reading fiction:

“Psst, this isn’t real… how boring is that?!! Wouldn’t you rather read “History of the English Speaking Peoples”?… The people in that book were real” 

Consequently, I’m a boring middle age woman who, until recently, thought Voldemort was a vampire in a romantic teen novel. 

O.K…. I lied about that last line. I know who Harry Potter’s father is. 

6)  I’ve been politically Conservative since the day I was born and an Evangelical Christian since my 20′s. I voted for Gerald Ford in a 6th Grade mock election. There were only 2 kids in my class who did. Me and a kid named Chris Kincaid. Jimmy Carter won in a landslide in that little class room. In 1984, I happily voted for the guy who unseated him in the 1980 general election. 

Btw, my Dad didn’t like Reagan at the time but grew more Conservative with age. Kids can…. and do form opinions apart from their parents. 

7) On Monday “All Hallows Eve” our family will be going to UVA to attend “Halloween on The Lawn”. Last year I went as Lily Munster. This year I’m going as my Samurai husband’s dangerous side kick (I don’t want to call myself a geisha)  

My daughter Sarah is going as Ellen Ripley from Aliens (my favorite fictional female heroine). She looks quite a bit like her.  

Siobhan was Joan de Arc last year. This year she’s going as Amelia Earhart. Both great women…

All the family will be there except Mark and Jay. Btw, Mark will be home from Iraq sometime in November we’re told!  YAY!!!

 I think I look like agent 99 with this wig on… either that or Gloria Vanderbilt in the 80′s. 

                                                                ”Not now 99!!”  

If you’re reading this, and haven’t done this yet, consider yourself tagged by me!!  

A friend posted this clip of Milton Friedman this morning to my FB wall. He was a guest on The Phil Donahue show back and 1979. It’s astounding how relevant the discussion was to our current economic problems.

Consequently, Dr. Friedman was our guest lecturer in Economics class today. There are 5 separate videos covering the show. This one and the last stood out.

In this last one, he proposes the idea of school vouchers. Poor Phil seems to have difficulty keeping up with him throughout the interview but he’s a gracious host. 

Btw, thank-you Ben H. for linking this.

THIS is pretty cool. http://www.virginia.edu/uvatoday/newsRelease.php?id=16221

My next post will be in the Fall… See ya’ll then and have a great ( & safe) Summer!    

A little over a month ago, one of my Xanga friends messaged me about sharing my thoughts on Christians serving in the military. Not too long after that I had a discussion with one of my Christian brothers Sirnickdon regarding the very same subject. This post is my response to that request as well as my thoughts on the discussions I’ve had with Sirnickdon (SND) and many other Christian pacifists (CPs).

Sorry so late, my Friends.  

 First of all, I believe any division on the subject stems from a lack of biblical direction (purposeful, no doubt) regarding vocational choices. This uncertainty combined with the desire to follow Christ and honor God often leads to honest disagreements about the role of Christians in the world. It is encouraging to know that the exhortation to be imitators of Christ is not taken lightly by those who seek the introspective life. Most Christians would agree that this journey starts with an eye toward introspection, and it continues to thrive through self-examination and a deep desire to pursue this divine friendship.

 With that in mind, I have to say I’m not interested in persuading anyone to my position regarding Christian military service. My ultimate goal is unity; not recruitment. In the end, this issue comes down to a matter of conscience. Changing someone’s mind or even their paradigm is different than attempting to compel their conscience toward a position they find offensive. We should always be willing to challenge, and be challenged by, different ideologies. In doing so, we can guard ourselves against the snares of dogmatism. There have been many times I’ve changed my mind after careful and prayerful consideration.  But the conscience is uniquely different than the mind.  When a person’s conscience has embraced a certain position they’ve then wedded their emotions to the idea. For Believer’s, we need to be considerate of our brother’s conscience. (Romans 14:14;20). This is important and even comes with clear warning.

 But even from a strictly secular perspective, I think this distinction between mind and conscience is an important one. It’s just not a practical use of your time.

 Attempting to compel a person’s conscience is akin to trying to convince someone that they really like a food that they absolutely abhor. No one will ever convince me, for example, that fried okra is fit for consumption. I refuse to eat things that are hairy on the outside and slimy on the inside….. even if they are deep-fried. A person’s Conscience isn’t nearly as dogmatic as their taste buds, but it’s a useful  comparison.

 Since there are no scriptural mandates or cautions regarding military service, I believe that God leaves it open for Christians to serve…. Or not.

 Roman’s 13 makes clear that all authority is ordained of God but the text is silent on exactly who He feels is qualified for service. There are not prerequisites given for applicants. It’s left to the individual to decide. Believers are to filter decisions, whatever they may be, through the sieve of  scripture. In this particular case, we look to the general exhortations given by God.

 This is where the problems begin. People love to take general exhortations and get very granular about it’s meaning and application. This is perfectly fine as long as we limit the application to ourselves, but the urge to build constructs and rally people to our position is a powerful one.   

For example, we read:

1. “Be Holy, because I am Holy”
2. “Love your neighbor as yourself”
3. “your body is a temple”
4. “women dress modestly, with decency and propriety”
5. Do not be drunk with wine.

And we evaluate the meaning and it’s application for ourselves, which is good. But our tendency is to go on from there.

1. Evaluate
2. Build a construct
3. Look to scripture for additional support
4. Rally others to our view

Through this process general exhortations become unnecessarily granular; rule oriented and ultimately divisive. My point is that Scripture already has immovable pillars of support. Why would we need to create fragile constructs? There are clear points that leave no room for compromise why insert extra biblical ones?

Man made rules regarding food, drink, apparel & vocation don’t usually encourage a closer walk with God. They create sectarianism.  

You shouldn’t drink alcohol

No sleeveless shirts; bathing suits etc.

Abstain from meat.. especially if it’s not organic.  ;)

Women should not go to college

listening to secular music is wrong

I’m sure you get the point. It isn’t that we all can’t draw from general principles. It’s that the strict definition and application is nearly impossible to discern. I’ve not met too many people who’ve successfully avoided turning these “rules” into points of performance and eventually barriers to truly loving their neighbor. 

The Pacifist’s desire to avoid a situation where their conscience might be violated or one where they might be asked to commit a sin is a noble one. We all must weigh our choices based on obedience to God. However, this applies to whatever we do recreationally or vocationally. The businessman; doctor; lawyer and pastor will necessarily find themselves confronted by decisions unique to their profession. My husband deals in life or death every day. Resuscitate or not? The Christian businessman may be tempted to do any number of unscrupulous business deals. The employee might be asked by his boss to commit (fill in the blank) sin for the good of the company.  We walk out our faith in whatever situation we’ve arrived at. It’s the reality of living in this world.

And so it is the same for the soldier.

The idea that we should appeal to a board of Elders to seek their approval over our career choices is a false construct. This is entirely different from the scriptural encouragement to seek godly council. And it becomes different the moment it’s mandatory. And while I support and might even encourage the pacifist’s conviction to refrain from military service, I take issue with this extra-biblical construct that’s been created. This is the moment a conviction comes dangerously close to dogma. The interesting thing is I believe all Christians at one point in their walk will struggle with this temptation to transform a genuine passion into an extra biblical tenet. Some folks may even make it into a habit. So I speak from experience having tried to apply a broader application to a pet conviction in the past.  :)

I understand the reaction to the blending of a  jingoistic devotion to America and Christianity. This is unfortunate and extra biblical as well, but I think there is a bit of an aversion reaction going on here.

Many Christians enter service with a sincere desire to serve and protect their countrymen. Some enter for other reasons and yet God can intervene. I think of my own husband’s experience. The Lord used his time in the service for spiritual growth. He entered the Army with dog tags that he had he created himself. They listed his religion as “Orthodox Heathen”, but by the time he left the service he had a different set that said “Christian”.  During that time, we developed some of the most enduring friendships we’ve ever had. The depth of Christian fellowship we enjoyed while on active duty was beyond anything we experienced in civilian life.

Unfortunately, there is a distorted perception of the military that I think is tragic. I would never claim it is a perfect institution… far from it. But I can’t say that the challenges presented aren’t more difficult to reconcile with the Christian faith.  In fact, there were times when the mandate to “Love your enemies” was facilitated through this institution. My husband tells the story of the mass surrender of Iraqi forces just days after the ground war started in the First Gulf War. These soldiers flooded into US camps in record numbers. They were tired, thirsty and hungry. They had been left out in the desert for days without supplies and commanded to hold back American forces. My husband was attached to the 15th M.I. Unit at the time and they had warned the Republican Guard that if they launched biological or nuclear missiles the Allied Forces would retaliate. The Iraqis took them at their word. When Saddam ordered the missile launch, they wisely decided to surrender instead. 

What horrible technique do you suppose the US forces used to extract information from these enemy combatants when they presented themselves? 

They didn’t use any. They gave them food, water and medical attention. The Iraqi soldiers were grateful for what they received and they talked willingly. It was a natural response.

More importantly, the aid was not given in order to get information. It was given regardless.

Does that mean each US soldier acted on their orders with a heart of love for the enemies? Certainly not in every case. My point is that pacifists all too often define the military too narrowly. A bloody and distorted picture of military service is offered against a back drop of a “godly” Christian framework.  This is no more useful a presentation than those who offer a hyper Americanism form of Christianity. They’re both caricatures. 

To assert that all followers of Christ must embrace the pacifist way of life is not biblical. However, it can be a sincerely held personal belief that is biblically based.  

In which case, If you are convinced in your own mind, I support you 100%.

But the moment it becomes a campaign rally to call all Christians to your side, I have a problem.